Pastor Gbenga Efueye and his wife, Ruth provides a perfect combination for ministry work. They are love birds and they seem to flow on the same frequency and they both pastor Victory Cathedral based in Ikorodu Lagos Nigeria. In this interview with CHURCH TIMES NIGERIA Efueye reveals the secret of the bond between him and his wife.
My growing up
I’m of both Itsekiri and Sapele origin. I live my early life in Lagos. I attended both Ikeja Grammar School and the then Federal School of Art and Science for my Advance Level program. I also attended Bethel Bible College and Life Theological Seminary which is affiliated to the University of Ibadan for studies in Pastoral theology.
Pastoral work, not in my plan
I did not have an inkling that I would be a pastor. I surrendered my life to Christ in 1987 at the Glory Christian Centre and worked in the church for some time before I travelled out of the country. I was in Libya doing business and making money but I was not happy. I knew there was a void in me. In the course of doing business in Lbya, I heard a voice speak to me that until I do God’s work I would not have peace. I then came back to Nigeria. Unfortunately I forgot about the encounter I heard and relied on the money I made from my stay in Libya. I ordered for vehicles and wanted to start selling vehicles. But the person who was supposed to help with the importation was only able to send one vehicle despite the huge amount of money I sent to him.
I eventually cleared the vehicle from the port. Rather than sell I turned it to a commercial bus and started driving it myself to make money. I was combining it with my service in God’s vineyard. The vehicle kept giving problem. In the course of all these, I began to have a strong desire for God’s word. I thank God for the kind of background I heard with pastor James Iruofuga of the Glory of Christian Centre. God used him to lay a good foundation for me. It was in the course of attending Bethel Bible College in Aja that I met one of the pastors in the college who invited me to work with him in his church. That was how I began pastoral work.
How I met my wife
I had prayed to God that I wanted a wife that would complement my work in the ministry. It so happen that I went to the embassy at a point to secure visa to travel out of the country. But the visa was not granted. I met a man at the embassy who God used me to help with some money and he was able to secure his visa. The man was really appreciative of my gesture and we became friends. Incidentally, my wife was the teacher of the man’s daughter. It was when I went visiting that I met the man’s wife who later introduced me to my wife. We got talking and we eventually married. It happened that she was in the choir in her church and I had told God I wanted a woman who could sing so that she would be a great support for my ministry.
How to trust God for a life partner
When one is trusting God for a life partner, God wants us to be specific and tell him what we want. But telling God what we want should not be to gratify the flesh. We should not be carnal in being specific. In my case I wanted a woman who will complement my ministry, who will be able to lead praise and worship sessions very well. So when she came my way I knew she was the one for me. There is a kind of relationship we will have with God that He will give you what you want in accordance with his will. And that has been my experience.
My experience in marriage
My marriage has been sweet. But I must emphasise that though it is sweet, and a bed of roses, that does not mean we don’t have our moments of disagreement. Any pastor that says he has not had a quarrel with his wife is a liar. Pastors who make such claims are making things difficult for their congregation.
Any marriage where the couples don’t have occasional disagreement is a marriage of deceit. There is no how there will not be argument or disagreement. There was the case of a couple who were quarrelling and the man took off from the house to report his wife to the pastor only to meet the pastor having serious fight with his wife. He simply turned back from the pastor. My wife and I are so close that I don’t feel comfortable whenever she travels or I travel without her. We are always together and she has been a great blessing to my life.
Why marriages of pastors crash
The reason some pastors are kicking out their wives is because many of the people who carry the tag pastor are half baked and they don’t have genuine salvation experience. Many are not mature in faith and in character. Any couple in a relationship should have it in mind that there will be offenses. The word forgive comes from two words, for and give. It means give ahead, forgive ahead. People will offend you. You must learn to forgive ahead of the offence.
There is also need to express bottled up anger in a mature way. Under no circumstances should a Christian divorce his spouse. The man or woman could separate if there are life threatening circumstances in the marriage pending the time the problem would be solved. But they should not divorce. Many pastors who divorce their wives have the problem of lust.
My ministry
God called me to preach the word of truth that brings victory. I believe that Christians should be able to draw the line between what the devil does and what they allow by their own carelessness and disobedience. We started our ministry in 1995 and since then the Lord has been adding to us. It has been a whole lot of experience for me as a person.
Unfortunately, today many people come into ministry for want of what to do. I believe so much in the ministry of the word. I believe that the person who gives you money, cloth or food is not the person doing you favour but the person who shows you the way to eternal life. Knowing the way of life and the assurance of heaven while living on earth is the greatest thing that can happen to any man. One of the challenges I have had in ministry is to make people see God first in their lives before any other thing.
Courtesy: Church Times Nigeria
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